Because I am more than skin...I offer you the mood and soul I am in, this morning.............This morning as I drove to work, I heard a song on the radio for the second time...and again...it struck the heart of me, and I was totally drawn.The length and breath of me...every inch of me.'I was made for you (Real title: The Story by Belinda Carlile)'...is the title, and I have no idea who sings it, but I will make every effort to find out.It's not the title (The sentiment is nice), that draws me, but the adventure behind the voice....it seeps into my pours...down to my bones...it is the depth of the soul behind the words...the adventures...the misadventures that life offers...the roads take...not taken...and between....It reminded me of life growing up in Jamaica...sitting with may family and friends around a wood fire in the back yard on the nights our favorite comedy show was on the radio Jamaica...'Miss Lou and Mass Ran'...we would have roast bread fruit, roasted corn with salted fish and a peg of avocado...and most naturally limeade, sweetened with wet sugar to was it all down.'Sugar...on my tongue....'The essence....forever lives in my heart.These things forever leave an indelible mark; you take as a bottled mood....to pour at will.It was me...it was every other soul that dares to go beyond...to challenge the space continuum.How can you tell someone of getting up at 4 or 5 in the morning to use the out house, which is well away from the main house...crickets, grasshoppers, 'peeny wallie' and other night creatures, scaring the daylights out of you...yet spurning a fascination beyond belief, as the cold chill of early morning tickles your behind as you sit on the cold, course...wooden surface...and you think...'Dear God...don't let the roaches tickle my behind...Pla-leaassseeee!'...and a cold shiver run up your spine, causing an involuntary shiver.......Then there was the time I was mad with my father for a whole school term, because he would not buy me a horse to run in the back yard...I am still mad at him...the cheep schmuck!You have no idea who you truly are, until you have faced real danger...summons the beast from within...and know how far you will go.Until that day...you can only theorize.People see the clips, and read about wars and rumors of wars...but they have no idea of the true cost of violence met, and handed out...only what they see on the news...believe me...it is not enough...will never be enough.Can never be enough.My firm belief...even before I recognized it to be so...is that life is one big adventure...and we were put here to be active participants...not bystanders, or goalies...but active...sweating...heart pounding...blood rushing participants.For a long while, I lingered...and was out of the game ...and it took a wake up call to remind me...it was in that instant I knew...for better or worst...my hand is in the game...and my wager is on the table...so deal the next card.......Every road I took, every breath I take...leads me to this moment...and I gravitate to who, and what makes me smile ....for there is a lesson in every line...and for every receptive heart.This weekend past was indeed a test...a test of my mettle.Yesterday in particular...even the full time driver of the route I drove, asked the same question...why would they assign a part time to such a route as this to train on?I was as dumbfounded as he was...it was indeed tedious....11 hours, of a constant merry-go-round...Renton Transit Center to Downtown Seattle...5 round trips...and because I had everything thrown at me...including the kitchen sink...we had one only 15 minute rest break, with which to 'woof' down a sandwich.The Mariners game, rain, and the Gay Pride Parade impeded my route going in...and coming out for most of the day...and a re-route at every turn.But as always...I am reminded of the bigger picture.If I ever wondered...as I have, and toyed with the idea...what it would be like driving the bus full time...yesterday was a perfect example...of why not to go there...and if I did...I needed to face it with eyes wide open.This evening I will ...along with my co-workers...be going to a game...I am assuming Mariners game....we are to meet our boss for a 'meet and greet' session.He bought out the controlling shares in the company I work for, just about the same time I began here...and I am thinking this will be very interesting...It's being held in a Luxury box he has reserved...and an instant phrase comes to mind...'wool over their eyes'....and indeed it is working...everyone around me was so excited when they heard on Friday...and I smiled...if only they knew why.Down the river we go...and the rapids are up ahead...but out of view...and around the corner.I will forever look gift horses in the mouth....too many corporate entities under my bridge....but am I daunted?...no...I am energized to fly with my own wings, and by the seat of my own pants.To me, it is now more than to win or loose...it is to 'recognize'...and be recognized.'I was made for you'...my anthem by choice.
Do you truly feel me?
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