Can't find a bottle with a cork.......

The comic gods have a big laugh when the rain falls..which of course is 310 of the 365 days in the year.
Was it to rain 311 days...the pile-up on the roads would be a major catastrophe!
All the trifling people that seem to have fell out of bed that morning...seemingly hit their heads as they do so......and is therefore stuck on stupid...gets left out wondering around..wet and spaced out...to torment us all.
In a million years I will never understand why people find it so difficult to pay attention when driving in the rain...What?! Is the big mystery?
For the love of God...someone please tell me!...I am dumbfounded!
On pacific highway...just before making the turn for the airport..I stop to pick up a passenger....who...as I pull into the curb...is whistling off in the distance to his right for someone I did not care to even look and see (I was very prepared to drive off after a slow count of 10...I was already late)...as I come to a stop in the zone..he pulls an hell-aciously huge can of beer out of his back pack and stuff it into his inside coat pocket (here we go!)...now!..I know HE thinks he is going to BE original and oh so clever..by going to the back of the bus and take a swig as we go...and I just sit there and let him slip by me...shaking my head at him to let him know I was hip to his gig.
...because for one..it is not open..and two...he did not show any signs of being drunk, I gave him some latitude...it is raining...after all.
Most of all...if I give him enough rope...he will convict himself..and he did...no more than 20 minutes later...he was so pumped at how he had gotten over...he reached across the isle to high 5 his buddy..and as he dipped back for his seat..he too a swig...and busted!...our eyes made 4...in my rear view mirror....

Freeze!...lets not waste time on this.
So I immediately pull the bus off to the side....perfect...we were in the dead zone on Pacific...if he got off here..he would be faced with a long walk in the rain.

I said as detached as possible...'Sir, you have two choices...either empty the contents of the can outside, and get back on...or get off and have your beer outside, and catch the next bus.'

I did the slow count as he wiped the stupid from his face.....

He needed a cue card.........so I switch to being the 'ignant' driver speaking in 'Jamaicaneze'

'Sir!...don't meck me unleash de dragon!l'

Wadda-ya know...it is magic...he and the beer made it through the door...and in a flash he tossed the can down and got back on.....where is the cops when you need them?
That's littering!...
We rolled on.

I call out my next stop in a few...'Homeland security/Immigration'...and suddenly there is daylight down the isle of the bus...
Where as before it was such a packed bus full...you could not find a toe hold (as the saying in Jamaica goes...'Can't find a bottle with a cork, can't find a place to walk').
What happened is...The 'Mexican 'Posse'....just shrank into their seats...and any available blind spot they could find..Yeah!...like this was the border...and the immigration cop was going to climb aboard the bus and detain them.
made me chuckle inside though...
Sad state of affairs...I just drive the bus....they will be cool in a moment or two again.
Just the Sunday before when I got to about the same place... but on the other side of the street and called out 'Immigration!'...and lady 2 seats back cried out...'OMG No!...don't say that!'
I gave her a rye look in the mirror...What!...I am working here!...was my eye to eye silent remark.
No doubt...a Mexican boyfriend or girlfriend...who is always on the look out....now she is infected with his paranoia.

And the beat rolls on............